hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
