I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
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SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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