I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
