i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize