her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
