but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
