Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
And then my night got REAL pukey
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I still have a little drunk in my system
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
