Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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