1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Randomize
