You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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