Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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