I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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