I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
