these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
