Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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