i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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