I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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