8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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