Moan for me like Helen Keller
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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