just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
