I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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