you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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