fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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