My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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