She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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