I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
