If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
