best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
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She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
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I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize