ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
