i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I fill condoms, not promises.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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