Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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