whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
