i just wanna soil my oats bro
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
