I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
