Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
