Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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