I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
