Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
