Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
