he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize