this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
