I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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