brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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