Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
