we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
