By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize