so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
