I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
