I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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