Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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