it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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