Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
