You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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