I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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