You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
