I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
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